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Surgery and life - 04 August, 2009 |
      
04 August, 2009 - 8:37 p.m.
Firstly, I should apologise for my complete neglect of my diary! I suppose that, because I'm in touch with most of my buddylist via Facebook, I don't feel the need to update here. Which is odd, because I still check in here to catch up on all of you every other day. So, yeah, get updating you lazy lot!!! ;-) So, what do I have to share with you all? Well, I have just killed a mouse with an empty wine bottle!! Does that count as news??? Gabriel brought it in, and as ever, just played with it instead of killing it. That usually ends in the mouse running off and eventually being caught and killed by Caleb, or just crawling into a corner and dying, only for me to find it a couple of days later after being led to it by the draw of the smell, ą la the old Bisto gravy advert!! Being sucked through the air by the magnetic force of the scent in my nose!! Ok, so you want REAL news. Well, baby R (or "Monkey" to his family!!! ;-) ) is now 7 months. He's teething, which is making him very grizzly during the night, leading to very little sleep for me! He also still feeds from me a couple of times during the night. So I am sooo exhausted! Other than that he is an angel! I love that little boy so much! I did once worry I wouldn't love him as much as I should, but now, I love him more than life itself! He is as much my life force as K and Newman! He has the power to make me smile and feel positive when I am at my very lowest! Speaking of my lowest, I also have bad news. As most of you know, from Facebook, K is going to have to have major surgery. She has Scoliosis, and after examination and x-rays a couple of weeks ago, we discovered it is very serious. It's a lot worse than most cases I've researched and read about. We are seeing the specialist in a couple of weeks. But we already know she is going to have to have an operation which takes several hours. And be in hospital for about 5 days or so. And recovery will be approximately 18 months. I am really not coping well with it. I am holding on by a thread. As a mother you need to protect your children. When you can't, when you have to watch them go through something that could kill them, it goes against everything you stand for!! YES, I KNOW it's for the best in the long run!!! How many times do I have to hear that!????!!!! It does NOT help!!! It DOES NOT make it ANY easier!!!! Handing my little girl, my baby, my angel, (my saviour in a lot of ways), over to strangers to cut open, and then keep from me in a strange environment for days on end, in excruciating pain, having to learn to walk again, is quite possibly the hardest thing I have EVER had to do in my entire life! I have more to say, but right now I need to go to bed. Purging feels good, but only so much at a time. Especially when all I really want to do is go to sleep!!! After all, I will be up at least twice during the night for feeding. And all the in between bits where the little monkey is whimpering from teething pain. Ok, so, in other words, I will only get about 3 hours sleep tonight, separated into blobs!!!!! I will be back soon for another update! Ooooooo, you're just hyperventilating with anticipation and excitement aren't you!?!?!?! ;-) or Random entry Design by me. |
